Their innocence is captivating,
Their trust is inviting,
Return their tender love with loads of affection,
Children are mirrors of us; pay attention,
They reflect on what we say and do.
Pause and think for a while.
Give them your love and a smile.
-Dr.Gurminder Rawal
Last week, while interacting with some of the senior students, I could understand the reasons for their stress and anxiety.
A lot has been written about teenage problems, with an equally good number of solutions and suggestions. Ironically, the students knew that also. They told me that everyone tells us about ways to manage stress: meditation, exercise, breathing, and walking, to name a few. I was impressed by their knowledge, so I asked them, Why don’t you apply then?
“Ma’am, you tell us, do you people follow them,” one of them asked me.
“What do you mean?’ I inquired.
“Ma’am, our parents keep shouting, keep judging and are not believing us? It feels so bad that we tell them the truth, but they do not trust us. They use harsh words and then others from family or the neighbourhood start labelling us. Then you say, use these techniques.”
I was clean-bowled. No answers. I started connecting the dots and realised, they were right. Do we elders ever feel that the children are our only mirrors? They reflect our actions only. Whatever they see their elders doing, they are learning the same thing, though in a modified version.
But I had to find a solution to their problem. I used NLP. They felt so light thanks to the meta-modelling, the communication model, the mindset change, and the reframing (which helped them visualize the outcome frame). Further, when I worked on perceptions, it gave them a new vision to understand their elders and their actions.
But I have to say something to us elders too, be good role models for your children.
Neither you nor the children are negative, shift your perceptions and reach out to each other.
In my subsequent posts, I will be coming up with more on the topic.
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