As a life coach working with teenagers, I recently had a touching experience with a 13-year-old girl who was grappling with behavioural issues, anxiety, and stress. Her mother, visibly anxious herself, brought her to me for support. When the mother stepped out, the daughter, trembling with tension, hesitantly began to share her story.
However, before opening up, she asked me a series of questions that revealed the depth of her fear of judgment.
"Ma'am, will you judge me?" she inquired, her eyes filled with doubt and insecurity.
"No, beta," I reassured her, using the term of endearment common in our culture to convey care and support, "I am here to help you, not judge you."
Her next question cut deep: "Are you sure? You will not think what kind of girl I am?" It was evident that the weight of perceived judgment was heavy on her young shoulders.
"Never, beta," I replied firmly, "You need to trust me."
Her fears spilled over into her next question, "Will you tell mumma whatever I share with you?"
My response was clear, "No, beta, it is going to remain between you and me."
Despite my reassurances, her insecurities lingered, evident in her next words, "Because everyone judges and says things which I never do or think. Even my mother and teachers."
The depth of her fear of judgment and labelling was striking.
This begs the question:
Why do children fear being judged?
Children, especially teenagers, fear judgment for several reasons.
They are at a stage where they are developing their sense of identity and self-worth.
Negative judgment from peers, parents, or teachers can deeply impact their self-esteem and self-image.
They fear being misunderstood or unfairly labelled, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Children are highly influenced by the opinions of others,
Especially those close to them.
They seek validation and acceptance from their social circle.
The fear of judgment stems from the desire to fit in and be liked.
Children may fear judgment because of past experiences of criticism or rejection. They may have been judged harshly in the past, leading to a fear of being hurt or rejected again.
👉As adults, we must create a safe and non-judgmental environment for children to express themselves.
😍We must listen to them with empathy, validate their feelings, and offer support without judgment.
😊By doing so, we can help alleviate their fears and empower them to embrace their true selves.
Let's create a safe, non-judgmental space for our youth to thrive. Listen, empathize, and support without judgment. Together, we can empower them to embrace their true selves.
P.S."I am a dedicated life coach with a passion for empowering teenagers and parents to untangle and strengthen their relationships. With a background in education, I bring profound insights into the complexities of teenage minds. Through coaching, I provide valuable guidance and support, helping families build deeper connections and navigate challenges with resilience and understanding."
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